Shara Blog

Expo Barbie

I saw lots of fascinating new things last week at Expo West. But I think the industry missed an opportunity to co-brand a line of products with Mattell, who's celebrating Barbie's 50th birthday this year. Some suggestions:

Gluten-Free Barbie. (Not to be confused with gluten-intolerant Barbie.) Made completely from recycled plastic grocery bags, Gluten Free Barbie’s popularity is as shocking as her hot pink miniskirt and matching go-go boots. Biodegradable Barbie. Kid leaves her outside? No problem, Biodegradable Barbie simply melts away with the first rain, giving the worms a yummy Barbie boost. Vegan Barbie. Absolutely no animal products used to make this beauty, whose teeny-tiny feet leave minimal carbon footprints on the planet! Free Range Barbie. Comes complete with a flock of free range chickens, and a hemp lasso with which to wrangle them. Salmonella Barbie. This gal always makes headlines as she spreads around the country. (FDA Barbie and Class Action Lawsuit Barbie sold separately.) Organic Barbie. With the USDA Organic seal branded on her bicep, and matching organic cotton shopping bag, Organic Barbie’s expression changes (smears) as your child’s hands get sweaty as absolutely no preservatives were used to affix her face. Nut Allergy Barbie. Always smiling in her self-contained plastic bubble. (NOTE: warrantee imediately void if Nut Allergy Barbie is removed from bubble.) Heirloom Barbie. Available in a rainbow of unusual colors, this Barbie’s misshapen head, oddly puckered skin and high price make her a must-have for any collector. and, finally... Expo Barbie. Accessorize Expo Barbie with badges and name tags! Expo Barbie’s right shoulder is slightly lower than her left, as she comes complete with an Expo bag overstuffed with product samples and business cards. Expo Barbie also comes with tiny Barbie-sized organic antacids in case the free-range buffalo sausage samples don’t mix with the superfruit babyfood samples in Expo Barbie’s tummy.
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