Who would have thought that the answer to world peace would come from a creepy clown with flame-red hair in a yellow jumpsuit? And yet, if you’ve seen the “Archenemies” commercial reboot of the McDonald’s “I’m Lovin’ It” campaign, you will know that an end to the era of divisive feuds and bitter discord has finally arrived.
You will know that because you’ve seen a mailman share a soft drink with a dog, the Joker make a balloon animal for Batman, Freddie Kruger give Jason Voorhees a box of McNuggets, and the Smurfs give apple slices to whoever that bad guy is in the Smurfverse. Hey, isn’t that the GOP’s elephant hugging Democrat’s donkey? That’s a hug, right?
You will also know that “Love love love love love love love love love love love is endless,” if you haven’t muted your laptop speakers, or yanked the earbuds out so hard you lost skin.
But if you are of a certain age, you will know that these things don’t typically pan out. You will remember 1971, when young people of all creeds and colors gathered on an Italian hillside to sing “I want to buy the world a Coke and keep it company” but failed to mention they’d be keeping the world company in a diabetes ward. Somehow, we doubt the world is going to lay down arms over a Bacon McDouble and a side of fries.
Besides, they lost us at the fifth “love.” If we’re including any McDonald’s on our playlist, it’s going to come from Mac Sabbath, the McDonald’s Black Sabbath tribute band. It turns out Grimace lays down a righteous bass track.