New 'bacon-wrapped' coffin takes pork to the grave

New 'bacon-wrapped' coffin takes pork to the grave

I am a proud and long-time lover of pork in all its glorious forms, but none sings to my salivary glands quite like bacon. I like it fried and crispy, baked and caramelized, stuffed into a potato, fattening up my green chili, and crumbled in my quiche.

Living in Boulder where it sometimes seems like everyone is vegan, I feel vindicated by the bacon revival that has happened in the last few years. Every time I see a T-shirt reading “Carpe bacon” or “Bacon is meat candy” I feel an instant sense of camaraderie and deep spiritual understanding with the wearer. Yes, I think to myself, you get it.

But nothing prepared me for the press release I discovered in my email today. J&D’s Foods—the creators of such bacon blasphemy as Baconnaise, Bacon Soda, and baconlube (Google it)—has manufactured a masterful tribute, not only to a great sense of humor, but also to a particular porcine product I hold dear.

J&D Foods unveils "The Bacon Coffin"The Bacon Coffin—contrary to what I initially believed—is not, in fact, wrapped in bacon. Apparently our indomitable inventors recognized the impracticality and potential challenges posed by such an eccentricity. But these “top of the line” caskets do “come equipped standard with all the features the discerning bacon enthusiast would want…in the afterlife.” Thank heavens. Or rather, thank bacon.

But I have to ask the blogosphere, is this really the image we want to cultivate for our beloved bacon? A recent study reinforced the theory that eating too much red meat—particularly processed meats like lunchmeat and bacon—speeds the eater straight to, well, a coffin.

Are bacon coffins sustainable?

Beyond that salty tidbit of irony, burial constitutes one of the least environmentally sound method of body disposal available these days. And I like to think that my fellow bacon lovers care as much about the earth as they do about their breakfasts.

So, Justin and Dave, I applaud your spirit and your inventive sense of humor, but have to say that your considerable talents might be better spent promoting the humane treatment of our porcine pals and encouraging sustainable “burials.” Personally I’m a big fan of Sweden’s body-composting eco-funerals.

Commercial pig farms are guilty of some of the worst abuses against animals, not to mention potential pandemic health concerns. Earlier this year MSNBC wrote about atrocities uncovered by the Humane Society at a couple of large-scale pig farms in Oklahoma.

Justin, Dave, where do you source your pork? 

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