Pope launches gluten-free Peeps

Pontiff turns papal apartment into a healthy snack factory, breaking centuries-old traditions set by those stuffy European popes.

Pope Francis’ first Easter, greeting a sea of Catholics at St. Peter’s Square, asked for peace in the Middle East and the Korean Peninsula.

And then, turning to sea of television cameras from CNN, Telemundo, Al Jazeera, the BBC and all the American networks, the Pontiff smiled and held up a familiar yellow box.

“Peace through Peeps!” the Pontiff cried, holding up a box of newly branded Pope’s Peeps brand marshmallow chicks. “This product launch is notable not just because it’s the first new product launch from the Pope,” said the Pope. “And not only because they come in red, yellow, orange and blue.

“Pope’s Peeps are gluten-free, locally made here in the papal apartment, certified organic, and contain half the sugar of traditional Peeps,” the Pope declared. “And they taste great!”

Last week Pope Francis said he will not move into the papal apartment used by Benedict XVI and other Popes before him, preferring to stay in a simple suite at a Vatican hotel. Now it’s been revealed the reason is to take advantage of the square footage the papal apartment offers in order to ramp up production of Pope’s Peeps.

Traditional Peeps are comprised of more than 98 percent sugar and corn syrup gelatin. Pope’s Peeps use organic sugar cane blended in a 50 percent blend with stevia.

“I am the first Pope in modern times from Latin America,” said the Pope of his roots in Argentina. “I wanted to recognize the part of the world from which I hail by using stevia, which grows naturally from Paraguay, a neighbor to Argentina.”

The Pope did not answer whether this is part of a larger plan to roll out Papal products.

“One soul at a time, one Pope’s Peep at a time,” said Pope Francis.

Hide comments


  • Allowed HTML tags: <em> <strong> <blockquote> <br> <p>

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.